Alright, I haven't blogged in 4 days. So much for that 30 day challenge! I feel like I've been too busy to blog and/or I haven't had anything to say. Since I'm so far behind, I've decided to put one out today. I'm currently reading a book on student ministry called Make Believe and it's really great. Most student ministry books all say the same thing and are a waste of time. If you've written a student ministry book then I'm sorry if I just offended you. Kind of.
In case you don't know me, I graduated college from Cincinnati Christian University this past May and have since taken a job as a student minister at a church south of Dayton. My entire summer has been a period of transition and adjusting to massive changes. I'm done with college and school all together after 16 straight years. I moved from downtown Cincinnati, where I've lived for 4 years, to the rural-suburbs of Cincinnati/Dayton. I went from a 900 square foot box in the ghetto to a half-million dollar estate in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the city. The incredible friends I've made, lived near and experienced life with for the last 4 years have all graduated and dispersed to their jobs and new endeavors. I started a job that is unlike any other job I've ever had. I have no real deadlines. I have no checklists. I have no set schedule or to do lists. I am forced to be as productive as I want to be. I ended a relationship of 2 years and since started another.
My life has been nothing but change for the last 2 and a half months and it's been extremely exhausting. I've never suffered from anxiety in my life until May. I have questioned what I'm doing and where I'm going. I've doubted my decision to go to the college I went to and the major I chose. I'm not sure if I'll even be good at my career. I have thought about quitting and leaving. I've considered taking all my money and running till I run out. Change isn't fun. My generation (Y) doesn't like change.
I would venture to say that the reason myself and my peers hate change is because we aren't content. We're always searching for the latest and greatest. We want promotions and better jobs and paychecks than we currently have so we're always seeking something out there that's better. We think "the grass must be greener on the other side" but we all know it isn't. I tell myself that this period of change is my new reality and I need to escape it because there has to be something better out there. I (and maybe we?) see our current opportunities as stepping stones towards our next, bigger and better opportunities. I'm worried about the future because I can't see it. I can try to plan it and put things in place to assure our better futures but we really can't know what will happen.
What I can do is be content right now. I can stop trying to dictate my future (which I have no control over anyways) and I can appreciate where I am right now and live in this reality instead of trying to live in the next. The quote I found today said "Become great at what you're doing right now, and the future will take care of itself." What if I put less energy into my future and decided to live here and now? What if I channeled my focus towards the jobs and relationships I'm in right now and became the best _____ that I could be in this moment? Wouldn't more doors open for my future if I was content? Wouldn't more people notice who I am and what I can do if I was the best version of myself every day? I'm trying live in a world that is not yet created. I'm planning for a future that doesn't exist. I'm wasting my time.
Become great at what you're doing right now, and the future will take care of itself.
-Parker
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